The Vending Machine

you get peregrines3469 (Because british)
I insert canada

 

You get apologies. (Bad joke, sorry eh?)

I put in Morgan Freeman.

 

Out comes a liver

I insert 5 Canadian dollars

 

Out comes a really expensive candy bar.
I insert an Ecodollar

 

Out comes a melon sword

I insert a brick

 

Out comes your mom

I insert an old woman

 

Out comes a car

I insert a steering wheel

 

Out comes a hampster

I insert a weasel

 

Out comes a ferret.

I insert 12,000 nstars

 

Out comes those 12,000 nstars, which I happily take.

I insert dirt.

 

I insert a shovel for the dirt

 

Out comes a fortune cookie

I insert a mouse

 

Out comes nothing

I insert antimatter

 

you get farts

i insert the world

 

I get Water

You insert George Clooney.

 

You get Nicolas Cage.

I insert a wrecking ball.

 

Out comes a house

I insert a penny.

 

You get one of those funny squished pennies.

I insert a Creeper.

 

You get a waffle!

I insert a talking taco

 

You get a soundtrack containing the Benny Hill Show theme song.

I insert a bucket of lard.