Itsa. I really mean this, and at the same time mean no disrespect, nor hatred, or anger, or any of that to you. I simply want to offer you some advice. More of a story, really. I hope that it helps in any way it can.
This is my second time as Moderator. The first time, although many think otherwise, I don't believe I was ready. I have had many problems in my life, of which I wont get into detail here, and I thought thatI could "escape" from them if I could just get a staff position. Why? Because it meant I had a "job," that I was "important." It meant all the things to me that I ever wanted my parents to see in me. Since that wasn't going to happen, I turned to ECC in the hopes that it could be a replacement. But it wasn't. Sure, I could escape into the world of Minecraft and Friends and Waffles for awhile, but there was always the dreaded end, the return of actual life, and I feared it. I spent more and more time on ECC, keeping away from everything as long as I could. But eventually, things became unberable. I couldn't continue both lives. I had to start living one life, My life. So, I resigned. The next few weeks were hard. I spent almost zero time on ECC and never talked to anyone for long on those rare occasions I did show my face to the "old" world as I called it. But, over the next month, I worked on my issues with my parents. I worked on the problems I had with myself. And I worked on the problems I had with "escaping." After that month, and a month isn't even very long, Things only looked up. I had mostly fixed my issues with he real world. And now, when I returned to ECC in full force, its no longer an escape. I come here to relax, not to get away. I no longer fear the time when I must get off, because I no longer fear the reasons why I must get off. There were, once I looked at it, fairly simple solutions to most of my problems, and thus I implemented them into my daily life. And now, I feel more confident in the real world then ever before, because I finally realized that no matter what problems I had, nor what was wrong with me, there would always be good parts to outweigh the bad. Not to mention I feel just as confident as a Staff member now as I do in real life.
I hope that you can realize that no matter what is wrong with anyone, including you, there will always be something good to outweigh whatever may be wrong, and I hope that instead of an Escape, you can, over time, morph ECC into an addition to your daily life rather than a subtraction. If you need a break, take one, the benifits of relaxation over escape are enormous, and I hope you can find the difference.
Good luck itsa, there's a whole world out there, and a whole world in ECC, don't let anyone or anything get in your way of seeing the good parts of either of them. Hope to see you out there buddy.
<3
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