“Thy mother’s of my generation. What’s she, if I be a dog?” -William Shakespeare

This is the oldest your mom joke I know of. (I believe the very first one too)

 

"I just blew up the washing machine" -Andrewkm

Probably what I will do in my future! :0

 

"If it was an eye for an eye, the whole world would be blind" -Unknown (not unknownrider, I dont know who)

**edited in** "When seeking revenge, dig two graves" -Unknown

 

^^ghandi

 

"Ask, and you shall receive." Camcliff

 

I got a FEVER! And the only prescription...is MORE COWBELL!
-Bruce Dickinson (Christopher Walken)

 

Las Vegas has all the amenities of a modern city in an environment unfit to grow a tomato- Jason love
:} it's just funny to me because i have a par of the family that lives in Vegas.

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. - Dr. Seuss

 

"Nonono! I said don't glitch portal, don't glitch! And guess what? It glitched and I died, what the heck?!" -uzumymw8718
I say this quote about every single day... then I rage quit

 

I have the most truthful quotes :D

 

"Sir the council has now made laws against your act"
"Darn, fine eliminate them"
"The laws?"
"No the council, here *hands her an RPG* hide this in your sweater.
Guard duck
Pearls before swine

 

I go hard in the paint-WakaFlockaFlame

 

Stupid is as a stupid does.
Forest Gump

 

"Assumption is the mother of all f*** up"
From die hard. number four I think, I can't remember.

I like this quote because it's so true.

 

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
Robin Williams