Nothing Imparticular

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Marisaur, May 1, 2014.

  1. Marisaur

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    I was browsing Imgur when I came across this post. My first thought was "Challenge accepted, OP."

    View attachment 73


    I knew I should be doing schoolwork, but who needs an edumacation, right?

    So I sat here thinking about how the hell I could write a story about a unicorn and a microwave. But then... It came to me.

    I present to you; The Life Story of Fredrick Monochromicorn

    Once upon a time, there was a magical unicorn named Fredrick Monochromicorn. He lived in the land oh Ehh, right between Ooh and Aah. Fredrick lived alone. He lived a lonely life. After the mushroom war, Fredrick had nothing left. No family, no friends, no home. This was long before the Candy Kingdom had been built, and there were very few survivors of the war. Fredrick walked for many days and many nights after the final bombing had happened, his home was gone, what was he to do?

    Fredrick was just a baby unicorn at this point. No older than 824 years. He struggled for some time, not knowing where to go, what to do. After watching his family blow up, and his father set off to fight with the rainicorns in the war, life was a struggle. His father never returned, he could only suspect of his death. Upon wandering for many weeks, Fredrick came across a seemingly uninhabited shack, thankfully untouched by the war attacks. It was a small, dark shack. Pretty rundown, but it would do. Inside wasn't much, just a dusty cough, cracked TV and a microwave. Since he'd been walking for so long, he decided to lay down on the couch and take a nap - as best as a unicorn could lay on a couch.

    After sleeping for a good 73 hours, Fredrick finally woke up and realized he had a huge problem: he was hungry. Of course, since Fredrick was a Bolivian piper unicorn, he could only eat very few things without getting deathly sick. Due to his limited choices, he learned to love pizza pops. After searching for hours in the destroyed town not too far from his shack, there were no pizza pops to be found, and depression was slowly setting in. After being alone for so long, life became hard. Life became lonely. Life became pointless.

    Fredrick searched far and wide for sign of other life and pizza pops. Neither were anywhere to be found. Had the mushroom war wiped out all life but him? Where was everyone? Why were there no freaking pizza pops anywhere? Fredrick was lonely, depressed, and exhausted, despite sleeping the previous night. Fredrick was going to die alone, he knew it.

    Depressed and starving, Fredrick decided to return back to his new home; a small shack to die alone in. Upon arriving, the shack seemed even smaller than before. It seemed so empty, so vacant. Fredrick wondered if the shack felt just the same as he did. Fredrick had no desire to live here anymore... In fact, he had no desire to live anymore. He had lost everything, he had nothing left. Due to the mushroom war, there was plenty of debris lying around from war planes and lost weapons. To his luck, Fredrick found an undetonated hand grenade, which he decided to bring inside with him and place ever so carefully in the microwave.

    Fredrick was a derp, he realized he needed electricity to run the microwave. Even more to his luck, Fredrick found a broken solar panel outside and used his little baby unicorn magic to fix it and connect it to the microwave. He sat for a few moments and thought. He just thought about life before the mushroom war, how beautiful it was, how peaceful. The citizens of Ehh lived together happily. Fredrick never knew what started the war; only the terrible things that came from it, and the terrible losses.

    After many hours of thinking and remembering, the sun had finally gone down and Fredrick felt more alone than ever in this big empty world. The solar panel had collected enough solar energy to power the microwave for a few brief minutes. Fredrick hadn't cried at all during this time. He prepared the microwave and the grenade with no second thoughts. He knew that once he was gone, he was no longer alone. The microwave made a muffled beep sound as he managed to press the buttons for "2:00" with his horn. It was time, he decided. He sat down beside the microwave as it started to heat up. The grenade was to go off any moment now. Before it was all over, Fredrick smirked. He was finally happy. He would no longer be alone. 5... the microwave counted down. 4... soon, it would all be over. 3... A smile appeared on Fredricks face. 2... He whispered... 1... Dickbutt.

    View attachment 74


    noh8pls
     
  2. Rocky

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    Best story ever. xDD
     
  3. NanoBitz

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    *A tear rolls slowly down my cheek*
    This story was just so
    [​IMG]